Monday, July 13, 2009


So I struggle with depression. I'm not really sure to what degree because I've never gone to a mental health professional to be evaluated, but I know enough to know that they'd just prescribe me drugs anyway. I can remember being a teenager where I was at in my parents car the first time I recognized what was actually going on with me. It goes up and down, but when I'm down like this all you tend to remember are the downs, which makes me feel like I've been depressed for the past 12 years! Sigh.

So anyway, in the past I could usually pin-point what triggered my depression: break-ups, deaths, pregnancy and hormone changes. But this time it's befuddling me. My period has been all messed up which could be signaling some hormonal stuff going on, but I really think it's more than that.

Actually, I think it comes from trying to take on other people's problems instead of recognizing that God will in His own time and way.

I'm not going to go into all of the thoughts that race through my mind all day when I'm like this, but I will ask that you pray for me.

Right now I'm just trying to stay productive rather than laying around on the couch all day:(
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Amanda said...

I know you probably won't, but you should read Imitations of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. He gives such practical advice about this very sort of thing. Kind of to the extreme since he was a Catholic monk, but you know. I have taken a lot from it.

Kendra_Kendle said...

That's cool. I'm currently reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. I just started it, but it's already good.

I may pick it up after this one.

Amanda said...

That is a good one, too! I wish I would read more books. They are truly a blessing. Now that John HAS to spend hours a day reading, I am encouraged to read as well. It's amazing all that I'm learning.

Amanda said...

Ohh and Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss...sooo good. It's fiction and written in diary form, but it's so worth the read. I think you would really like it. It has a lot in there about motherhood.